A Manhattan chef at a five star restaurant who confessed to “spiking” President Donald Trump’s food with his sperm has been fired from his job.
Michael Briggs shared the anecdote with his colleagues at their work Christmas party on Friday, boasting that he “tampered” with Donald Trump’s food “as a gut reaction response against his policies.”
“He walked in with his entourage and took a seat and my blood just started to boil,” Mr. Briggs told his colleagues. “I’m thinking, Dreamers are getting kicked out. Mexicans are getting discriminated against. He pulled ads for open enrollment in Obamacare. Puerto Ricans were treated like trash. Palestinians are in crisis. I’m thinking, he’s probably been at the damn golf course all day.” “So I whipped it out and jacked off onto his burger and then covered up the crime with a big, fat splash of ketchup.” News of Mr. Briggs’ exploits quickly spread after colleagues began sharing the story on social media. Many hailed Briggs as a hero, with some saying he should run in the 2020 election. Radio hosts also picked up on the story. However, according to Mr. Briggs, marketing company bosses called him into the company office on Monday and fired him. “They were like, ‘We’re letting you go,’” Mr. Briggs said. “‘Basically, you cannot perform obscene actions in our kitchens and you cannot adulterate anybody’s food, much less the POTUS’s food.’ So they were calling jacking off obscene.”
Mr. Briggs said he pointed out that his social media pages do not mention his employer, and that the posts “provoked an overwhelmingly positive response.”. He also said another employee had written a foul-mouthed insult about President Trump on Facebook, but had been allowed to keep his job after deleting the post and being reprimanded. Suddenly, the 39-year-old father of two is looking for another job.
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